Will There Be Sex in Heaven Pt 2

More than Afternoon Delight

Okay - this is part two, so go read part one to make sure you’re on the same page.

I remember thinking :

I hope I get to have sex before I die and go to heaven.

It would suck not to get to knock the proverbial boots before getting to the other side.

That line of thinking is what got me started on processing this whole question, many moons ago, because I think a lot of us have the same idea.

If I don’t get sex now, we think, I’m missing out. Big time.

Onto the Nitty Gritty

Like we mentioned before, sex is who we are - not just something that we do. That might sound like a small distinction, but it lays some great groundwork for understanding lots of the nuance around the sex, sexuality, etc discussion.

( as in, the majority of the cultural discussion centers around who one rolls around in the sheets with - which is not the heart of the conversation at all ).

Anyways :

Sex is who we are, the entirety of our self is sexual ( body and soul ), and our sexual expression, or embodied expression, is a shadow of a Greater Substance.

Will the be actual sex in heaven ?

To answer this, I want to take a more round about approach - as in, starting more broadly and then getting into specifics.

Some folk will say there is no sex in heaven because there will be no differentiation of sexes in heaven. As in, whatever happens in the resurrection, whatever supernatural mystery goes on in that “twinkling of an eye”, it’ll erase the embodied sexual stuff.

Maybe that sounds a bit weird to you, but these folk would base it off of Galatians and the whole “no male and no female” thing.

See, they would say, there is no sex in heaven, there’s no male or female. And “sex” here can probably function on both levels of sexual identity and the act of hanky panky.

But is that what this verse is getting at ?

I don’t think so.

I’d read this passage more along the lines of :

Union with Jesus, or to use the language of the New Testament authors, being in Christ. Essentially, the idea here in Galatians is that gender ( male or female ), ethnicity ( Jew or Greek ), or socio-economic status ( slave or free ) won’t hinder you in anyway from participating in the life of Jesus.

Which is VERY key Christian theology - because in most parts of culture at that time, being on the wrong side of the gender, ethnicity, and status line meant you were cut off. The idea of being unified with Jesus, and therefore with everyone who follows him, does not erase distinctions - that’s the easy way to love. Flatten. Homogenize. Love everyone because everyone becomes just like “you”.

No, the idea of true union is a love that goes deeper than anything - and reaches across all boundary lines with open arms.

Anyways.

This verse doesn’t say there will be no sex in heaven.

What is Sex Even About ?

What about the act ? The knocking of the boots ? The making of the babies ?

Does that exist in the life to come ?

As we discussed last time, and just kinda hit on previously, we will be raised sexually ( maleness and femaleness ) - which means we have all the “stuff” that comes with that. All the parts needed for a full functioning human person.

That means, if we got the parts the opportunity for doing the deed exists - but will there actually be sex in heaven ?

To answer this we need to figure out why we even have sex in the first place - if we can determine why we have it now, we can probably extrapolate and determine if we will have it then.

Let me explain this better. All Good and True and Beautiful things find their source in God. That means all the gifts we experience here on earth, everything that fills us with joy and delight and love and hope and peace, is ultimately a sign post pointing to the fountain head of every Joy.

Sex included.

How we experience goods here, on earth, according to the Christian philosophical tradition, are shadows of a more full substance. The fulfilment of everything that is Good, everything that is True, and everything that is Beautiful, is God.

Heaven doesn’t cancel out the joy - it won’t remove Good acts, the feeling of drowning in beauty, or the thrill of finding truth - it will deepen them, infinitely; because God is infinite.

Make sense ?

Anyways -

Here’s the main reasons we have sex now :

1. Procreation

2. Pleasure

3. Expression of Love

4. Consummation of Marriage

Let’s work through each of these.

Procreation

Aislinn and I just made a baby - and sex was how we did it. Sex is how we all got here - without the act of sex, we all cease to exist. Procreation is pretty central to why sex happens at all.

Will there be procreation in heaven ?

Nope.

Why ?

We’re told God is making His family now - he’s currently building it - adopting sons and daughters to be a part of the family of God.

So - no need for procreation in heaven.

Pleasure

If we’re right and the shadows / substance ideas hold - that means for all the pleasures of orgasm - it’s just a shadow of true pleasure.

Let’s work this through.

The main idea is that the joys of sex are intended to point us towards a deeper and better reality - but not on the level of comparing Dominos Pizza to the Real Deal in Italy. The magnitude of difference, as far as pleasure fulfilled, is more like comparing eating poop to eating a 14oz medium rare wagyu steak.

It’s hard to articulate this idea - but the Psalms maintain that at God’s Right Hand are Pleasures Everlasting. Whatever we experience now, even the euphoria of self giving intimacy, pales in comparison to the joys to come.

Actually, I can articulate this more with our third point :

Express Yourself

Sex is a great way to express love for someone else. It is intimate and vulnerable and raw and passionate. It uses our whole self - body and soul.

Will we need sex in heaven to express our deep love for one another ?

I don’t think so.

I think heaven will undo lots of the “baggage” that hinders us from freely and fully expressing intimate love with one another.

Here’s a hint :

Jesus was the true image of God, fully God and fully man, and fully and freely loved everyone - as deeply as can be imagined - and he didnt have sex.

He expressed his love in the most powerful of ways. Seeing him, we will be like him, and that means the stuff that hinders our free and full expression of intimate and passionate and vulnerable love will be done away with.

Sealing the Deal

The Christian tradition holds that sex is the sign of the marriage covenant. That is, sex is the embodied expression of the promise of union. The two go hand in hand.

Jesus says there will be no marriage in heaven.

So there’s no need to seal the deal with sex.

Wrapping It Up ( No Pun Intended )

There will be sex in heaven - as in fully sexual humans.

There won’t be intercourse in heaven - as in no hanky panky.

Why ?

Everything sex is about now is, to quote Lewis, making mudpies on the shore, when we are offered adventures at sea.

Sex, the act, is a shadow of the substance that is to come. The pleasures will be deeper, the unity will be more intimate, and the expression of self will be more free.

The substance is enjoying the infinite God - the person in whom all Beauty dwells. So if this kinda sours your juice - let me say it different.

You need to desire MORE pleasure than you can even imagine now.

One Last Thing

That metaphor we mentioned in passing, being a part of the family of God, also sorta prohibits the idea of intercourse in heaven :

We will be, genuinely, the family. In a more intense and real way than we experience now - and family members do NOT sleep together.

Anyways -

I can probably try to do one more post and answer a bunch of your questions.

much love