I read a paper last year called :
Signalling Virtuous Victimhood as Indicators of Dark Triad Personalities
It’s a short read, most of it is analysis, but once you’re done it ( and done this little essay ), you be enlightened, and you will see this idea everywhere.
Okay, let’s start at the beginning.
Over my course of being an online person I’ve seen my fair share of interactions - and the reason I bring up the virtual world before the real one is purely for the reason that everything in the virtual space is intensified.
Rarely, in my embodied every day life, do people call me a heretic, do people troll me and tell me my art has demonic symbolism, and rarely does anyone question my salvation.
But online ?
Pretty common.
In our online spaces, everything is ratcheted up - maxed out.
Politics is a fury of polarization, every theological take, whether fundamentalist, progressive, or anywhere in between is a life and death matter, and whatever the latest thing is - well, you better believe the world is going to moralize your stance on it.
And it’s in that online space, with very few, if any, checks and balances that all kinds of rot spreads, not just because the algorithm pushes it, but a kind of soul rot, a decay of our person - the kind of rot that forms in excess, in glut, in aggrandizement.
And in my real life, but even more so in my virtual one, I have seen a new rot emerge :
Victim Signalling.
Definitions and Groundwork
The paper defines victimhood as such :
A victim is one who suffers some injury, hardship, or loss, is badly treated or taken advantage of.
And it goes on to say that being a victim can be a highly aversive experience and that consequences of a true victimization are serious ( PTSD, loss of self worth, security, trust etc ).
And in a way that only a scientific paper can state :
These negative outcomes suggest that being a victim is generally not a desirable state.
But this is where the paper shifts perspectives, claiming that in many Western societies, a “culture of victimhood” has been embraced, so much so “that claiming one is a victim has become increasingly advantageous and even fashionable.”
This will be the last major section of the paper I cite ( mostly because the rest of it is sets of repeated tests to prove their hypothesis - and all of it is FASCINATING ).
They say this :
Notwithstanding these benefits, we propose that claiming victim status, an act we refer to as victim signalling, also allows victims to pursue an environmental resource extraction strategy that helps them survive, flourish, and achieve their goals in situations that are responsive to their claims.
By resource extraction we mean that resources are transferred from either individuals or larger institutions (e.g., the state, organization) to the person who signals victimhood. There are many resources that can be transferred to someone claiming victim status and so we use the term resource broadly to refer to any material (e.g., money, jobs, access to education) and/or symbolic (e.g., respect, tolerance, compassion) assets that one party possesses and that another party wants to acquire.
Okay - that’s a lot.
So let me sum up.
The claim of the paper is that our culture, our modern one, is one where that undesirable state of victim status has been co-opted by particular people for particular reasons.
The reasons ?
Resource accumulation; money, respect, clout, etc.
The people ?
The paper shows this with dazzling clarity - but these are people who exemplify the Dark Triad Personality traits ( Machiavellianism, Narcissism, and Psychopathy ) - a quick google can give you all the definitions you need here.
The New Virtue
I’ve been in those sit down conversations, the intervention-style ones. The ones where the people who call the meeting to order have a particular idea in mind, something they want to confront in you, something they believe is hurting you and hurting others. Something that, if it was changed to their ideals, well, the whole world would just be better.
And I’ve been on the receiving end of these multiple times, some valid, and some…well. You know. The agree to disagree kind of chat.
The latest one was in my living room, a couple of years ago now.
A few people telling me about a meanness, or a harshness, a bluntness - a setting of expectations that were just a bit too high.
And I will spare all the gritty details, because I don’t wanna gossip, but this was one of those agree to disagree kind of chats. And on just about every point, we disagreed.
I can make up a scenario that gets the job done.
I confronted a person I knew who, I believed, was making all kinds of mistakes - mistakes that were tearing them apart and mistakes that were having an impact on all their relationships.
Pretend they’re an alcoholic.
They’re getting drunk a few times a week, and in those drunken stupors, they’re doing all sorts of rash and reckless things. It’s become an dependence for them, a way of coping, and it’s causing all kinds of stress on the people they know.
Enter in me.
I tell them, “hey, maybe pump the breaks a bit on the drinking.”
And it’s not random, not out of the blue, it’s because that drinking affected me - the fallout of folly. Their bad choices had aftereffects and those ground up against my own life.
Heart to hearts are had, and headway seems to be made.
But, as time passes, the bottle gets emptied again, and the same mistakes and the same relational stress is made.
And eventually, when the volatility gets so agitated it spills over and burns me, I say something, again.
“The drinking is not a good idea.”
“Yeah, I know.” Comes the response, and the promise of change.
But the unfolding of time proves otherwise.
And this rinses and repeats for however long it takes for me to lose all respect.
Listen, I’ve been there - mastered by alcohol.
I would expect, for example, my wife to lose all respect for me if I promised change and then continued to peel my life apart with destructive habits, and let all that deterioration wreak its havoc on her.
Eventually, I hope, she’d stop calling me a good man.
I wouldn’t be, at least by any enduring standard of Goodness and Virtue.
I’d be a user and abuser, using whatever substance and abusing self at the expense of others ( which is the opposite of what love is defined as, btw ). And my continual actions, the betraying of all my paper thin promises, would reveal a lot more about me than I’d care to ever admit.
And so, fast-forward, in this little made up memory, to my living room.
Where I am being called mean and harsh and exacting.
I am told, sitting there, in my reading chair, that the person I confronted, the drinker, was crying just last week about how mean I was for confronting the issue and for losing respect.
That I was too harsh.
That I expected too much.
And to be honest, I probably do need to work on my abruptness -
But all that’s going through my mind at the time are Jesus’ words :
Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel. (Mt 23.24)
And that conversation rolls on, and goes nowhere slowly.
I didn’t have language to explain it, to process it - but I do now.
We have a new, modern, virtue - not one of the theological or cardinal virtues, something else.
Victimhood.
That person, in their mind, was the victim of my confrontation - and the amount of pain that confrontation caused determines just how much virtue is derived.
It didn’t matter if I was right or wrong, what mattered was that the other person was hurt. That’s what counted.
And it’s easy to signal that new virtue, victimhood - it’s easy to tell others of the pain, tell others of the suffering, tell others of the demoralizing, tell them of not being understood, and whatever else.
And that’s the new virtue.
And this isn’t to pat myself on the back - but it is alarming that our modern times do not praise the virtue of courage for confronting hard situations, and the goal of calling up the true virtues of purity and self-control.
No, we praise a different set of virtues altogether.
And that is the sinister trade, a kind of Faustian Bargain - the casting off of True Goodness and the embracing of ease and the obtaining of whatever other benefit.
And what’s the method ?
What’s the easiest way to not deal with anything ?
Why, the newest and most prized virtue, of course :
Victimization.
And What Happens on the World Wide Web
Like I said, things get intensified online.
And this is no different - which makes it so much more apparent.
And I’m not here to get into political or social issues, neither of those are my main lane - though it would be very easy to cast stones, just maybe not the first one.
I think that this idea of victim signalling and virtuous victimhood has so many shades that it’s impossible to label. But if you catch the vibe of it all, you can recognize it, and you can call it out or steer clear of it, whatever you think is truly virtuous.
I watched some of this play out last year - a few philosophical debates from some small YouTube pages I follow.
The live started, and each shared their opening statements; and then their initial rebuttals; and then the cross-examination; and lastly their closing remarks.
It was all pretty one-sided, in my opinion.
Lots of pretty key arguments went unmatched and undefended - but the guy who levelled them, the guy who won the debate, he was a bit sarcastic and a bit abrasive.
In the ensuing social media aftermath, the guy who lost, never really admit he lost.
He mostly said, in light of the debate, that he prays for his opponent, weeping, to find a kindness and grace that is representative of Jesus.
This guy even posted a video of himself, furrowed brow, weepy eyes, pleading for his debate partner to repent; that the pain in his soul was so great he couldn’t bear to respond to the comments asking about his arguments.
This is a weird mash-up of victim signalling and piety signalling.
Everything on display, presented, to show some other kind of superiority. A victory in a different, and better domain. Sure, maybe my arguments are bad, but boy oh boy, you should see how much I weep in prayer.
And all that’s going through my head is :
The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
A few weeks later, some chats in some app got leaked, and turns out that behind the winning debater’s back, the guy who lost called the winner a jackass, or something similar.
That, also, never went publicly addressed.
And you can see this just about everywhere online.
And don’t hear what I’m not saying, I’m not team jackass - and not a proponent for jackassery.
But in just about every domain, there are groups of people who signal victimhood, who signal piety, who signal some modern virtue, all for the sake of dominating whatever social hierarchy.
Again, don’t hear what I’m not saying - there are real victims, and they need to be taken care of -
But this, what we’re talking about today, is not that.
No, what we’re talking about is a lot more subtle and perverse.
It’s using the status of victim as a tool towards some kind of success.
Same with piety.
These things, pain and suffering, or some kind of holiness and devotion, are simply means to an end - and that end might be saving face after a lost debate, it might be side-stepping all the hidden sin that leads to over-drinking, it might be followers or money or clout.
Who knows.
But it’s everywhere.
Postscript
I will inevitably get messages about not judging people’s hearts.
So, here’s my take.
That’s my own, personal, prerogative, and same for you.
I’m not calling out anyone here publicly.
I’m calling out a way of being, I’m only talking about the abuses and only talking about the excesses. The goal is, in saying these things, you might be able to recognize them, assess them, and respond accordingly.
Why ?
Your life hangs in the balance.
Extreme, I know.
But I do mean it. Don’t have a faith informed by frauds and liars, by hypocrites and tricksters; don’t think it’s okay to have a speck in your eye, let alone a plank. These things all matter.
Playing a victim to get out of a bind, whether ethical or intellectual, is deceit, and all church fathers and divines have plenty to say about those who intentionally deceive for their own gain.
Feigning holiness as a way to be superior to others is pretty much the main confrontation of Jesus and the Pharisees; and Jesus’ words to them are sharp and poignant. White-washed tombs. Broods of Vipers.
Anyways.
Use this at your own discretion.
And, as a bit of advice, when you find yourself getting frustrated, maybe even with some of your heroes, realize that lots of this is passive.
This is, as that paper maintains, the culture we swim in.
Very few rebel against it.
But we should.
This is spot on-my first thought was every contestant on “America’s Got talent” or “American Idol” who uses their victimhood (real or imagined, actual or exaggerated) to gain sympathy and a positive response from judges and the public. It becomes a competition of sorts to tell the greater story, each one more touching. Though many stories may be true, I believe they are sensationalized in order to gain popularity. Which is just sad. The true victim is marginalized and the grandiose victim is glorified.
Jesus said, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” We find rest and healing in Christ alone.
I appreciate your willingness to confront error with truth.
So good!
Also this line is gold: “And don’t hear what I’m not saying, I’m not team jackass - and not a proponent for jackassery.” There needs to be a t shirt STAT.